Loveless
by flyntoaster
Summary: Ryuk is tired of living life as shingigami, and fortunately he has found an escape from that. To unite with Rem he has stolen and helped steal the lives of light and Misa, and the clock is ticking for them to get it back RemXRyuk
1. In the garden

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the death note characters or have anything to do with their creation!

Hey it's me again, I decided to write some more serious because I basically have too much time on my hands. If you Read this please be kind enough to also read

The curious incident of the DVD in the Day time thanks

Chapter 1: In the garden

Loveless was the word that was etched across every available space. Arranged and re-arranged the word had possibly 1000 different meanings even more incomprehensible than the last.

A shinigami was trapped into the word, bound ,and wrapped around it. Strangling the life or death if the less became less and left the word love. Love was a killer and curse, sweet but bitterly lethal, a kiss from an asp. There was no way to escape the vines the entangled his arms his hands, his head. Today was the day that would change.

"Ryuk camera's" Light muttered as he came in through the door, barely audible as he dropped his nap sack on the bed; where he was located and hidden under. An apple rolled from the sack, the carvings of rearranged "loveless" on the bottom of the bed reflected in the red sheen. He picked it up gingerly looking at his reflection.

_I'm getting fainter everyday, I have to do it now!'_

"Light" said Ryuk "we have to go out"

"Not now" he hissed back with flawless ventriloquism

"Please, just this once….I need an apple"

"But I just gave you one, and you know how dangerous it is these days."

"but I really NEEEEEEEED one"

"Fine." He got up and picked his jacket "MOM" he called down the stairs "I FORGOT SOMETHING AT SCHOOL I'M GOING OUT!"

"OKAY" she called back.

Light went down the stairs and swung out the door. He headed toward the park, a mist was building up, one with a mind to blot and blink out the rest of the air so visibility was a thing of the past. Ryuk followed. He was nervous.

_what if he doesn't accept it? what will happen to me……………_

They walked through the town heading towards the park. "Hurry up Ryuk" light called behind him his back turned, "we'll miss the vender if we don't walk faster." But Ryuk couldn't move any faster, he was frozen to his very core. And then they entered the park….

Trees swayed around them, not a soul in sight , as the wind whistled blowing papers and candy wrappers. "well I hope your happy Ryuk" Light spluttered out again when they got to the vending corner. "The Apple vender went home a long time ago, and you made me walk about in this mess for nothing!"

"amusing" Ryuk mumbled

"what?"

"nothing, it just dawns on me sometimes how entertaining you humans really are."

"well next time keep your comedy enlightenments some where inside or during sunny weather, what a stupid prank!"

"there are apples over there" Ryuk whispered pointing at a black tree crouched

over the grass, that Light had never noticed before.

"_That_ thing actually produces fruit?"

"yes those apples are usually right in season about now."

"well I'll believe it when I see it, that tree looks like it was a florists Frankenstein."

"check for your self."

Light walked over to the tree. It got even smaller as he walked closer but it's presence became even more ominous and foreboding. And it did have apples. A _lot_ of apples, the deepest red Light had ever seen. So red they were almost black, and didn't show up very well in the half light.

"Well there you go….just what you were looking for.." he said again a bit un nerved. Ryuk glided toward the tree his luminous eyes seemly even bigger than normal. He took an apple from the tree and examined it.

"flawed." he threw it over his shoulder

"Ouch, watch where you through those things." light exclaimed as Ryuk continued to throw a cascade of "flawed" apples at him and ground while his back was turned, still searching for more.

"picky, picky, come one we don't have all night, I need get home." he said after about 10 minutes. But then Ryuk was still, he turned around holding a large jewel like apple in his hands.

"Sorry about bringing you out here, why don't you have an apple to make up for it?" he extended his clawed apple filled hand to Light.

"A prime pick if I do say so my self."

"Wow Ryuk, thanks I didn't know you could be so….so…thoughtful…." light frowned.

_Oh no what if he figured it out!_

"Hey I'm going to end up watching you die one way or another." Ryuk found himself saying "So it's the least I can do."

"Thanks" said light again sarcastically "what a great friend!" He bit into the apple. Ryuk watched with bated breath, Light eating the apple seemed to fill the whole world.

"Ryuk what's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost." He took another bite. More than half the apple was gone. "Aren't you going to have one?" Light voiced again "I mean it is the _whole_ reason we came out here in the first place."

"Good idea." Ryuk answered. He had almost forgotten. He too picked a perfect apple similar to the one Light was eating and hastened to eat it, timing the bites so that he matched Light's. Light fortunately wasn't paying attention, because normally he would have noticed, but was looking over his shoulder.

"Ryuk" he mouth more quietly as he chewed, "I think we're being followed, there's man over there behind that building that wasn't there before when we first came."

"mmmmmm" said Ryuk swallowing the last bite as Light did. "yeah I think we should go common….we….er…don't want to get into any trouble."

"your normally not so jumpy, what's gotten into you Ryu-" but Ryuk pulled Light away down the street covering Light's mouth. When they had gotten safely into an alley-way, and Ryuk had removed his hand Light nearly exploded.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!"

"yes yes I think I might be." murmured Ryuk as he looked up at the moon.

"WHAT!"

"please be quiet just now, it'll be less painful for you if you have your mouth closed."

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! wait a second…..have you been eating the dish detergent again?"

"No, I'm just getting my "just desserts", that was my last apple. I'm sick of healthy food, and _dish detergent_." Ryuk smiled a wry smile, one that light didn't like at all.

"B-but I though you liked apples?"

"Oh just biding my time, until I could sink my teeth into a more favorable position." Ryuk smiled that horrible smile again, and float a couple of steps away anchoring himself on the ground. "Light do you have the time?"

"It's 7:00" he replied starting to back away. But it was too late. He watched in horror as Ryuk's eyes began to change. Their luminous yellow was fading to dusky gold, then green, then a dark emerald, then finally a sky blue. Smaller and rounder with thick lashes, all the while his skin was becoming lighter, his body more angular and straight, his hair from iron like spikes to soft cowlicks.

Light was starring at a identical twin of himself, well almost anyway. _He_ certainly didn't have black hair or wear such tacky clothing, but it was still picturesquely frightening.

"Look down at your hands Light." said the new Light.

Light looked down. His hands were black and jagged claws. He screamed and the world went black as the pupils of mirror image light standing in front of him.


	2. The Serpent

hey my…. (counts) THREE OR FOUR loyal readers….Sorry I haven't updated in like two years…(cough) (I totally DIDN'T forget I wrote this, or that I had an account of anyway, sorry for the poor quality of my original chapter, and now I'll update on a regular basis...wait WTF? I have FIVE reviews? gosh you people have long attention spans…

p.s. I don't own deathnote…damn

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**Chapter two: The serpent **

The Next morning:

The house would have been quiet. It should have been quiet, because as it was

customary, only two (technically one) people occupied the entire expanse of a

mansion. Sadly they decided to take up residence in the same room at the same

time, and as usual they were having an argument.

"_REM_!"

"NO!"

"_REM_!"

"NO!"

"_PLEASE_!"

"NO!"

"_COME ON_!"

"**NO**!"

"GIVE ME BACK THE PHONE!"

Rem held the phone up just out of reach (well just out of reach floating on top

of the twenty foot ceiling) while a small blonde jumped up and screamed for all

she was worth.

Rem continued to hover in repose, one hand supporting her chin, the other

grasping the phone by the tip of the cord. She found herself completely torn

between exasperation and amusement and was quite at a loss for what to do.

"I'll give it back to you if you promise you won't call Yami…."

"If you give the phone back to me, I'll call _Light-kun_ and he'll help us out!

What else can we do about it?!"

She beamed and clapped her hands together, sure that her iron clad argument

would win Rem over and show her the sensible way of thinking.

"No! We don't need his help. I'm not even sure we need to interfere at all."

"But Ryuk will come too." (insert evil giggle)

"….."

More insane giggling wafted up from the floor. After several minutes, when Misa

still hadn't received any response, she huffed and flopped down on the bed, her

silly mood evaporating to leave behind a cold calculating business persona which

she only reserved for important matters. (Rather like Yami's "game face") Rem

heard clicking and (without thinking) leaned forward to peer down at the girl

upon the bed. Misa's lap-top had seemingly materialized in front of her and

thick glasses were balanced upon her nose. The glowing screen was open and her

fingers were a blur of typing clacks.

"You do know that I could have been lying when I said I was female right?"

Clack. Clack. Clack. "Cool yaoi, and yes you're female."

"-because all of this is extremely unnecessary, and I could take

my deathnote and kill you right now!"

Click. Click. Click. "You wouldn't."

"Oh wouldn't I?" Rem lifted her deathnote and pen threateningly. (which also had

a knack for randomly appearing)

Clack. Click. Clack.

A sigh was heard and then in a slightly monotonous voice "What ARE you doing?"

Clickety-clack. Clickety-clack. Clickety-clack.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Click. Click. Click.

"Yes I would." Curious, Rem flew down to sit behind Misa and peeked over her

shoulder. Misa immediately snatched the phone neatly from Rem's grasp.

She bounded up off the bed and raised her arms in victory!

"HA! YES!" Bounce. "YES!" Bounce. "YES!" Bounce. "HA! YES!"

"…so all that was for nothing?" A small "hyuk" barely escaping

Rem's lips.

"No silly! Of course not!" Her voiced switching yet again to the cold business

formality. "I searched and strategically mapped all of those "tree" sightings in

our province and surrounding area, by time, place, and street. Based on the

current pattern a tree appears on every seventh street, on the seventh hour, every third day every three days, and of course in the seventh month……" she paused,

"well at least I think it's the seventh month. Last time I checked it was June……and that whole "every third day every three days" (1) thing TOTALLY ruins the seven pattern."

A sound of tinkling bells echoed throughout the house along with the sound of

several chiming clocks.

"OH GOODY DOOR BELL!" squealed Misa as she raced down the stairs as Rem called

after her that it was, in fact, "JULY!"

She ran and ran and ran, down three flights of stairs, a pantry, a great hall, a

second pantry, the kitchen, another pantry, and finally skidded across the

marble floor of the great hall before hitting the door with a THUMP! She opened

it gasping, just managing to hold herself upright, and squinting to see the

visitor.

She nearly fainted.

There stood Light-kun in all his shinning glory. It was an epiphany for her, the

angels were singing, the birds were twittering, the sun glimmered across his

lovely hair. And not only was the "Light-kun" it was Light-kun in **LEATHER PANTS**.

Misa's thoughts were:

_Thank-you-God-I'll-never-skip-church-again-OMG-HE-LOOKS-HOT-thank-you-God-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-OMG-OMG!!_

_COULD NINE CLOUD NINE! WHY I AM I STILL IN MY PJ'S! OMG!_

_AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_

Her faced blushed bright red and she sighed breathily. Then ushered him in,

forgetting all about the trees.

"L-L-Light-kun I w-wasn't expecting you so-"

"Early." he promptly replied "Seven A.M. sharp." He smiled a bit too widely.

Then she frowned. He never came to visit her…ever…, was

something the matter?! Did the police find them out?! Did L suspect them?!

"Light! What's wrong?! Why are you here?! Is it the police?!"

"Oh Misa, I thought you'd be happy to see me…?" He pouted. His last statement a

question, sounding generally disappointed. But Misa continued to frown. Light

POUTING? There was something wrong with this picture, not that she thought it

was a bad thing, far from it, she thought it was a general sexy improvement.

"Misa? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I do something wrong? I just

haven't seen you in a long time?!"

"It's okay I was just going to call you…" she said softly looking at

the floor.

This was definitely not the Light she knew. Since when had he shown open concern

for her feelings? Since when did he visit just to see her?! Since when had he

worn LEATHER PANTS?! It was strange and wonderful how nice he was being, but

still she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Maybe they were

under surveillance?

"Light-kun are you…..You know….feeling okay?"

"I'm feeling fine" he moved closure, his voice getting lower and huskier,

"……now that you're here…."

He leaned over and gave her a peck on the lips. And that's when the last of

Misa's self control went down the drain. Her head felt heavy and her legs turned

to jelly. She fell forward in a swoon, and Light caught her in his open arms.

Who cared if Light was acting strange? Who cared if he suddenly decided to wear

sexy leather pants for no reason? Who cared if he was finally acting like the

boyfriend she had always dreamed of? He was carrying her up the stairs and

smelled like cinnamon. Her eyes closed and she let out a long breath of

contentment, resting her head on his shoulder.

-

Light soon stood poised on the landing, right outside Misa-Misa's room. He had

felt Misa slip into blissful unconsciousness and now, safe, peered through the

small chink of light coming through the open door. The too wide smile once more

stretched across his classical features making him look oddly sinister. He

pushed open the door (still carrying Misa) and walked across the pink carpet. He

surveyed the posters of boy bands, the jars of eye goo and glitter, the Satanic

relics, and the gothic Lolita accessories spread across the floor.

"Hello Light, back again?" came a dry voice from the bed. Rem. Rem. REM. Rem

sitting hunched over an absurdly small laptop and trying vainly to push the

small keys.

The smile grew still wider and more pronounced.

"Misa's shrieking gave you away." Rem continued to explain, not looking up. "If

I can hear her three floors up, it could only be you at the door."

Light moved toward the bed and lightly spread Misa across the coverlet.

"What happened to her?"

He didn't answer, only fidgeted with his pants pocket. (2)After an awkward silence

(spanning the length of about three minutes) he produced an apple, a VERY large

shiny apple. It was such a deep red that it was almost black, and it sparkled

darkly in the morning light.

"Apple?" he asked sweetly, tossing it into Rem's lap and revealing very white

pointed teeth.

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(1) Yeah…see it was going to be every seventh day but then I thought about it and realized that if I did that, the trees would appear on the same day the first tree appeared every time. I want to give them a harder puzzle to figure out than that!! Also there aren't enough days in a month for all those sightings…(giggles nervously)

(2) My beta wanted to know why it took him so long to get the apple out of his pants, and why this was so awkward. YOU try getting an enormous apple out of very tight leather pants! How is the situation NOT awkward! DO THE MATH PEOPLE!

That's all folks. I hope it cuts the mustard for my lack of updates so far. Cheers! (eats apple)

Bon appetite! Many thanks to my fawesome beta. Alice insomnia. Reviews please and thank you. (And yes fawesome is indeed a word. probably…)


	3. Adam

flyntoaster: This takes place during the forth volume…Just so you know. After all everyone knows that things pretty much go to hell after that..XD I hope this makes up for the long absence.

Also this is strictly un-beta'd becuase I can find mine. I think I lost her. CHECK ALL THE POUNDS!! (or she could have gone on vacation. You never know about these sort of things.) Stuff ACTUALLY happens in this chapter! And more will happen in the next.YAY! 'kay I'm done ranting now. Read please and thankyou.

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Chapter 3: Adam

The sky was a bright early summer blue. Shop owners yawned and started to slowly crank up the metal gates that covered their windows and doors. Paper boys chatted idly on the street. The noisy hot subway rumbled underfoot. A lone cat yowled as it stretched in some abandoned corner.

The city was still waking up. After all it was only seven A.M….

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Everything was dark. Dark and heavy and spinning. A ripe raw stench clung unpleasantly in his nostrils. He stretched and scratched automatically. Was he hung over? He didn't remember. What had happened last night? He wasn't one much for parties….? Groaning Light rolled over and fell about two feet earthward, landing face first in a puddle of congealing muck. He came up spluttering.

Was he drinking PETROL!?

A largish hand came to brush the muck from his eyes, and in a moment of panic he stopped to inspect it. It seemed normal enough. Smooth and soft and the color it should be. The fingernails were even and they were cut neatly and he wore his customary sleek wrist watch. He blinked several times. His sluggish brain trying to register what was clearly in front of him. Nothing out of place. But why was he so insistent upon looking at it? He had just wasted about three minutes of his time that could have been better spent dusting himself off and heading home.

Light sat up slowly to counter act the pound of blood rushing from his temples, but then bolted up. He was going to be late for work! Damn…What was he thinking! Sitting around and lolly-gagging like a little drunken idiot, while he risked his very freedom! Damn! He clutched his head as pain shot through it, the hands fisted damp downy hair and the splaying feet tried to stagger out of the darkened alley way. This was going to look really suspicious!! He had no excuse for coming in late. The team of detectives, the supervisor, and L would all be wondering where he was. Knowing L, the eccentric would probably put down his absence to some sort of criminal activity! And when asked to explain he would only be able to relate a tale of embarrassing normalcy, which would not be believed. For a prestigious youth like himself, it would be completely out of character to be delayed by a rampaging hangover in god knows what part of the city. None the less doing anything _normal_. Even if that WAS what actually had happened.

When Light reached the end of the twisting passage and the bright light, he was blasted by a torrent of city noises. It took about two minutes to gain a sense of self orientation and a little shake of the head before he broke out into a jaunty sprint.

Yes. The more he thought about it the more in didn't make sense even to him. And then the strange nagging feeling that had possessed him when he had woken was back, and gnawing a sizable hole in the pit of his stomach. It WAS out of character for him to ingest any type of alcohol. He supposed, as he nimbly dogged a heard of bicyclists, that once the substance had entered his blood stream he hadn't really done much thinking after wards. So he ended up in….the alley way? It still didn't add up. He didn't remember leaving the house the night before. His mind was leading him in circles.

He racked his brain for some other scrap of memory to answer….well anything. But he found himself only able to remember the bare essentials. It was seven A.M. according to his watch, he woke up on the corner of 6th and 7th street, and he was precisely seven blocks away from his office building where he worked with his backward sugar-hyped arch nemesis. Oh and Misa was an idiot.

The dark reflective glass of sky scrapers rushed by on both sides as Light sped up, entering the district where most of cities law enforcement offices were located.

_Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh._

Each metallic rivet on the buildings rushed past, momentarily disrupting the smooth sea of black glass and disrupting his reflection. The wind whistled in his ears, ruffled his hair. His arms swung back and forth like pendulums to match the speed of his almost blurred legs, strained in perfect motion.

_Whoosh._ His reflection mirrored his own running strides.

_Whoosh._ Another rivet and it blurred.

_Whoosh. _He did a double take.

_Whoosh._ Was he a bit _blurred_ around the edges?

_Whoosh._ He squinted his eyes and turned his head just a fraction to the side…

And then he was flying through the air.

Through all his mental contemplation he had neglected to watch where he was going. He had dogged around tourists, run around delivery boys, and slid under trucks, but the exact second he had turned his head and let his guard down a lemonade stand had rolled aside to reveal an open man hole.

Which of course he had managed to trip over.

His shoes slipped over the upward tilting surface like a skater lifting off from a ramp. He tried to right himself in mid air and _almost_ landed on all fours, but at the moment of impact his momentum was too great and toppled over again. Unfortunately he landed on the top of a very TALL STEEP hill. He rolled over and over unable to stop himself gaining speed.

BUMP! He hit someone's landing. The breath was driven from his lungs and his head make a loud crack on the cement. Light rolled down the driveway and into the backyard smashing through the fence. Across a busy intersection narrowly missing a large ramen truck, and then through several thorn bushes. BUMP! The world writhed past in a grotesque whirl pool of color. He crashed into the path of several people knocking them over, and then rolled down three flights of marble steps. BUMP! The earth disemboweled itself and splashed its entrails on the sky. He hit the sidewalk and tumbled down through a narrow alley way. BUMP! He came to a stop, flat, spread eagled, and face down panting looking the worse for wear.

He squeezed his eyes shut trying to shake himself free of the over whelming dizziness. And then lifted his head up slowly to see where he had landed.

Miraculously it was right in front of his office building. And in record time too. But this was not what held his attention.

The tall metallic wall loomed over Light ominously. Three inches away it was impossible to look anywhere else. The glass was highly reflective. Almost "mirror-esque". But it was not his own face that looked back at him, but that of a shinigami. It was Ryuk.

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BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

The long monotone buzzer sounded from the outside. On security screen seven a serene looking Light pressed the call button. He flashed a cocky smile at the camera and another mysteriously to the left before lowering his head to the speaker.

"L, let me in."

"You're _late_ Yami" L said with a certain amount of terseness, about forty floors up perched on his chair. He added another cube of sugar to his cup in annoyance and stirred sternly. L did not tolerate tardiness and Light was never late.

"I'm sorry! I got caught in traffic!" There was a real hint of remorse in the voice, so real that L stopped sipping his tea and put it down in surprise. Since when had Yami learned the art of sincerity?

"Type in the access code. You know perfectly well how to let yourself in Light-kun." L watched the tiny figure on the screen more closely. Something was _different_ about Light today. Something almost perverse that deeply disturbed him. It was perverse and disturbing that he couldn't even was spot what the difference WAS.

Forty floors below Light swore obscenely in his mind.

_Damn. How the hell am I supposed to know the freakin' access code?! This job isn't worth it!! _-five lengthy minutes of swearing- _Screw this, I'm just going to have to cheat. Who CARES if she gets mad at me!! SHE can go to hell!!_

Light's smile remained plastered on as he flipped open the plastic cover on the key pad. He dialed smoothly and almost so fast that L's eyes couldn't follow the movement. ALMOST.

He didn't dial the usual sequence of numbers. Instead just one seven times.

Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven.

L frowned as the door slid open and Light walked inside. That shouldn't have worked. The building's security system was virtually unhackable, he should know, after all L had designed it himself. He shut off monitor seven and focused the cameras on all of the surrounding hallways. The dim screen crackled with electricity before fizzling out.

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Ryuk….Ryuk….Ryuk….

The name pounded in his head like the roar of an earthquake. His body felt like it was still free-falling down the hill. Light scrambled forward on his scraped hands and knees. Panic thick and smothering in his mind. He pressed his hands against the glass. He pressed his forehead, his face. But the wide yellow eyes still stared back.

And then Light heard a familiar voice and turned in disbelieving horror. He saw himself walking up the side walk nonchalantly and ring the buzzer on HIS office building. Light couldn't move. He was petrified, like a hare frozen to the ground. His mouth moved soundless like a fish gasping for air.

The other light suddenly looked up and saw him. He smiled. His teeth were sharp and glinted seductively. The smile said everything.

_This body belongs to YOU doesn't it? Ooops! Not any more…_

"Light" disappeared in side.

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The elevator binged as it reached the fortieth floor. Light stepped out brushing off his jacket and stepped into the hallway. THE door, L's door, was about seven hallways to the left. Light took long even strides and reached more quickly than he would have if he has walked at a normal pace. He called out and knocked gently.

"Just push Yami." Came the voice over the nearby intercom. Light looked confused for a second and then realized L meant the door. It opened silently it reveal L on the opposite side of the room taking tea on a low couch and starring at him with a politely bemused expression.

"Does Light-kun wish to share what he has done?" He intoned with cheery interest as soon as Light had closed the door and it had sealed with a rush of air.

"L, I don't think I understand what you're talking about?" He responded equally as airily.

"I think Light-kun knows exactly what I'm talking about." L replied unruffled, pointing behind him at the footage playing on the large screen near the opposite wall. It was an image of Light's speedy dial routine on the keypad.

"Oh…that" he gave another warm smile "I've discovered a backdoor in your system. I got tired of forgetting the code and being locked out."

"Would Light-kun be kind enough to show me?" L motioned to the key board.

"…"

"Why are you hesitating Yami?" L said more firmly, a steely tone now present in his voice. "Is it because I know you some how rigged the surveillance…?" his voice trailed away delicately. "Every camera in this building is the same state-of-the-art model. Every piece of footage that is taped by one of the cameras is directly sent to the main surveillance chip under that very desk over there. This means, although you probably already know because you've tampered with it, that every camera has the same exact digital signature. Frame by Frame. Exact times and dates and codes. If a any "hacker's code" or back door is found it can be immediately overridden by the person over-seeing the demo tape, which in this case is me. And I rarely, well to say, _never_ stop watching them. Even while we are having this little chat…" L pointed to a second screen on the wall directly behind Light. "So…Yami it makes me wonder how you were able to slip through even after I had deliberately denied you access…ALSO the fact that the very minute you came in, every camera you passed by reverted to different dates and times. Most of them involving "sevens" which if you observe, was the full body of what you typed into the key pad."

L walked across the room to the large array of screens and key boards. He pushed his finger down in one neat CLICK and the screen that had showed a slowed down version of Light dialing in now faded to reveal the security recording of Light. It grew larger to fill the whole screen and then divided into four different shots.

The first showed L walking to into the building at a normal pace and stepping into the elevator.

L pressed another button and the tape rewound so "Light" was standing frozen back at the door. The data on the bottom corner.

"The original showed the exact time and date, July third ((random guess. I just checked the publishing date on the manga)) two-thousand-three. Now…" L pressed the button again and Light stepped in side in slow motion. The data flickered for a moment before changing. "The first number becomes a Seven, the second becomes a fourteen, and the third turns into an twenty-one. _Multiplies of seven._"

He pressed a button again and each of recordings of the seven hallways as Light had walked through flashed up in secession in the other three panels. The occurrence repeated identically on each one. "It appears you must have had some sort of disrupter on your person" L did some typing and clicking on the key board "…but I doubt you could have snuck it through the highly sensitive metal detectors installed in the entrance…" more typing "So that leaves me to assume it was some sort of virus…an uncreative and infantile one at that. Using such an obvious pattern I would have never expected anything so blatantly-" But L stopped. He had just realized that he had given a full-fledged monologue, including theories, accusations, and techno-lingo without being interrupted by the impertinent blonde ONCE. Light usually had some sort of counter argument by now.

"Yami aren't you going to try to defend yourself? These charges are very serious." he asked coldy with a note of confusion in his voice and his back to Light.

There was silence.

"Yami? Aren't you going to say something?"

An even longer period of uncomfortable silence.

L was about to finally turn around and demand and answer when he felt a _hand_ on his chest. He looked up slowly. Light was standing over him, casting a shadow, with a strange expression on his face. L had worked with Light for a long time, and in all the hours they had spent together the insufferable Yami had never looked at him like _that_.

The hand move down coyly and traced it's way back up.

L starred at Light. Light winked at L. L fell out of the chair.

Light went down on the floor and pulled a stunned L into his lap.

"I've never told you before but you have such pretty eyes…" he whispered into L's ear and gave a little nibble while his hands found their way back to L's chest and started stroking. L started up and punched Light soundly in the face.

"Yami, just because you feel like coming out of the closet today doesn't mean you can get away with this." He said quietly standing up and brushing himself off.

He started to walk towards the other side of the room presumably toward the phone, but was knocked to the ground. Hard. His face was pressed deeply into the carpet.

_Whaa..?_

Was all he time to think before he felt his head being pried upwards to stare directing into two twinkling doe brown eyes.

"Yami…get…the…hell…off…me…NOW!! We've been through this before!"

"Call me Light.." The Blonde purred into his ear "Then you know I don't take kindly to rejection.." He gave the side of L's neck a huge sensuous lick.

_Before?! What!? Well what do you know… at least I'm playing my part well…_

L's breath hitched as the tongue continued on it's downward trail and he decided he'd had enough. He head butted straight into Light's face with a sickening crack, probably breaking his nose. HOPEFULLY breaking his nose as far as he was concerned. Light swore and fell to his knees and L sprinted to the other side of the room as fast as his legs could carry him.

The door to his private quarters on the other side of the room was wide open. He practically threw himself inside and then he slammed the door shut behind him and LOCKED it, white with horror. L scrambled for the phone and dialed as fast as his fingers could process the panicked information from his brain. The contents of his stomach sloshed about unpleasantly and he fought to contain a retch.

---------------------------

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!_

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!_

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!_

The phone rang and rang.

Misa's eyes fluttered slowly, annoyed at having been woken out of her deep peaceful sleep. She snuggled deeper into her warm comforter and tried to ignore the jarring noise, mistaking it for her alarm clock.

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGG!!_

"Oh alright, I'm up! I'm up!" she mumbled slamming a hand down on the radio clock next to her bed.

_And I was having such a nice dream too_.

But the noise didn't stop and she blinked sleepily in confusion at the black mechanical square.

_BRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNG! BRIIIIIIIIIIIING! BRIIIIIIIIIIIING!_

-------------------------

"Common Misa-Misa please pick up!" L muttered nervously as he listened to "Light" call for him to come out.

---------------------------

"Oh!" Misa started in surprise and looking at the vibrating hunk of pink plastic sitting on the edge of her bed. "The phone!"

She grabbed it and answered gleefully, "Hello this is the Misa-Misa Residence, Misa-Misa speaking!"

"Misa! This is L! You need to get down here right away!" L almost yelled into the phone in his panic "Why were you sleeping in so late anyway?" he added.

"Oh, Light came over and he was wearing-"

"Misa! This is ABOUT Light! He's with me and-"

"No he's not! He's over at my house! He's wearing these AMAZING sexy leather pants!"

"Well now he's down at the station- wait what..?"

"You heard me. AMAZING. SEXY. LEATHER. PANTS. And don't start drooling because everyone knows he's mine!"

------------------------------------------------

"…" L paused on the other end in shock, not because of what Misa was implying (although that was PART of the reason, because a small blush dusted his cheeks) but because that was the thing that had disturbed him so deeply when he first saw Light ringing the buzzer. His wardrobe.

Normally Light stuck to plain, simple, functional work clothes. A crisp white button down shirt slacks loafers occasionally a jacket. But today he was wearing a black leather jacket over a tight read t-shirt, and yes, the mentioned "amazing sexy leather pants". Something was off. Something was different. Something was wrong.

But Misa, oblivious, was still talking.

"-and they looked SOO good! I nearly fainted! I did faint! And that's why I'm late. Well why are you calling me? What's the matter with Light? I guess he did leave after all…"

"He's acting a bit…oddly.." replied L dryly. There was pounding in the background.

The desperation returned to L's voice as he again realized the horrible gravity of the citation. And his near miss with molestation! "Misa-Misa, you need to get down here right away! Light is acting VERY inappropriately!" The pounding grew louder.

"Okay, I just have to get dressed and pick out a super cute outfit for him first!"

"NO! JUST COME AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN!"

"What ever. I'll be there in twenty." She hung up cheerfully without saying good bye.

L starred at the phone jack still cradling the receiver in terror.

--------------------------------

Misa gave a loud "HMPH" before discarding the phone and bouncing off the bed! The nerve L had to suggest she should come down without choosing a hot ensemble. Well she was just going to take her sweet time. She needed to be beautiful for her extra handsome boyfriend. She made absolutely no connection between the strange tree-appearances she had been researching and Light's apparent strange behavior. As far as she was concerned, The Great Kira-Light could do no wrong. She didn't even care anymore that he had left without saying goodbye.

Now where was Rem? She could have sworn the Shinigami was floating around with her lap top before she had swooned?

Misa dug through her chest of drawers throwing possible shirts, and blouses, and skirts, and jeans over her shoulder in her quest for the perfect outfit. When she was dressed she realized she had to dig through the mess on the floor to find her laptop.

She was scrambling around on her hands and knees sifting through the chaos when she slipped on a particularly uneven patch of carpet. She tumbled over with a squeal and landed on a pile of sweaters. When she opened her eyes her lap top was sitting directly over head on her nightstand. And resting on top of the laptop was a small silver tray…

Misa got up slowly and looked down at it curiously. It was small and round and intricately carved with designs around the edges. It looked like a combination of some biblical scene and…moths? Seven moths, if Misa had counted. But her eyes didn't rest on the tray it rested on what the tray was carrying.

A large dark jewel like apple. So red that it appeared to be black. It seemed to leech the light from the very air around it and shimmer with a strange omniscience.

Misa reached out hand slowly and was just about to touch it when she noticed a small note sitting on the edge of the tray. She grabbed that instead and flipped open the little folded piece of paper.

_Dear Misa,_

_I picked up this new type of apple at the farmer's market. They're imported from Brazil and are supposed to be really good for your skin. I hope you enjoy it. I just wanted to do something a little special for our seven month anniversary. They call this "the fruit of desire" in South America because it is meant to be shared with loved ones._

_Love Light_

Misa giggled with delight. Not only had Light remembered their anniversary, but he had gotten her a present and signed his name with the word _love_. There was a God! Or good luck or something! Or maybe she had finally melted Light's cold heart with her charm!

The sleeves of her overly large sweater covered her hands as she nabbed the apple and slipped it into her black tiger-stripped ruck-sack. Not even a millimeter of skin brushed the glowing membrane of the fruit before it was stuffed into darkness and snapped shut with heart buttons.

Misa shut the door and locked it before running off towards the office building. That's why she hadn't eaten the appel yet. She wanted to thank Light in person! Nothing could stop her from reaching her beloved now.

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Uh end….although I don't want to….I could go on for a few more pages of randomness…


End file.
